So. A lot of you probably know that I didn’t write Faoii Betrayer for nearly 2 years after I first finished The Last Faoii. And part of me regrets that. But, honestly, I think I needed the break. Crowdfunding The Last Faoii nearly killed me. Marketing was a series of soul-crushing trials and failures. I burned out. And I didn’t want to try and do that again. Not my highest point, I know.
But the thing is: I eventually got through it. Last June I finally decided I was going to start writing again. If it every got published, fine. If it didn’t: also fine. Because there was a time that I created worlds for the sheer joy of creating them, and that was enough. I wanted to get back to that.
So I started writing again. Tiny steps. 200 words a day. That was it. 5 minutes after work. Sometimes all I could do was squeeze out that tiny paragraph. Other days I wrote pages. And mostly, it felt wonderful to write again. And it worked! I finished the first draft last week and have started working on edits. I love and hate them. It is such a deliciously dark book and I love combing the pages for the perfect place to place the eerily-crafted sentence that came to me in the shower. But I also have one chapter that makes me want to light this computer, room, and city block on fire… so you know. Give and take.
I want the world to see Faoii Betrayer. I think it’s worthy. But I’m not going to kill myself for it like I did with The Last Faoii. I’m not going to literally put myself in the hospital over the stress. And maybe that means I’ve grown as a person, if not a writer. I know my support teams keep telling me I need to do what I can to “make this one successful.” But I just wanted to make something worthy. And I think I’ve done that. I guess we’ll see.